The mouse becomes the shark!

We called him mouse, almost from the very first day he joined our family. Such a tiny little guy, only 13 pounds at the age of four! He was instantly accepted and loved by our family and friends.

Nearly two years later, he's less of a mouse! More of a shark at 34 pounds and 37 inches tall. He would need to grow five inches and gain three pounds to scrape the bottom of the growth chart.

Theo is dealing with the consequences of the neglect and abuse he suffered during his first four years. We are all dealing. Even thought he is happy and healthy, this dealing overshadows his gains. Obsessions with water and food dominate his waking hours.

We must not leave any plates unattended. The refrigerator water dispenser must always be locked. The bathroom door is always closed. Cups must not be placed close to the edge of the counter top. You see there is a shark in the house and he wanders around looking for opportunities to feed his obsessions. Hyper-alert. Constantly circling.

Even so, I could not imagine being more emotionally attached to Theodore. He's no more mine than if I had given birth to him myself. I love the way he grabs handfuls of grass and tosses it up in the air. I love the way he hugs me tight. I giggle when he does pull-ups on the edge of the counter. I love the way he trusts me and tolerates long periods of unbroken, loving, eye contact. He's FUN!

I grieve for what has been stolen from him. But I have hope for his future and I'm so pleased that I get to guide him there as his mom. Tomorrow is his 6th birthday. I'll be thinking of his biological mother tomorrow as I work on his smash cake. Yeah, Theo gets a smash cake. Thinking of it just makes me smile!

Well, I finally did it.

Apparently vacationing makes me LAZY! Whew! What a week. I think I finally found my feet again, and suddenly the weekend is here.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

I'm a pool girl. I lived in Arizona as a young girl where you could find a pool in nearly every backyard. It wasn't a status symbol, it was just the norm. I swam so much and so often that I wore the skin off the bottom of my feet. My toes left little bloody prints on the concrete. I tried swimming in socks, but it just wasn't the same.

Later on, I discovered swim team. I wasn't great, but I loved competing against myself. I got a star on my shirt every time I placed or even set a personal best time. I loved the challenge of improving my times and technique. In my last year of eligibility, I swam every event in at least one swim meet. I finished all the 50, 100, 200, and 500 yard events (or meter, depending on the pool) plus the freestyle and medley relays. My butterfly races were not pretty, and SO not fun, but I finished without getting disqualified!

All that background to say that I am pretty confident around water. And the ocean didn't scare me one bit. And it drove me nuts to sit freezing in the lawn chair outside my motel room watching other people have fun in the water. You can't have fun in 63F water without a wetsuit. And I do not own one.

So, when I spotted the surf shop, I dragged my husband across the street to check it out. My husband found some cool flip flop sandals with an integrated bottle opener in the bottom. We started joking about how he could sit on the beach and pop open a few beers while I entertained him by trying to surf. The next thing I know, he had me signed up for lessons in the morning. This set into motion a series of humiliating events.

First of all, what do you wear under a wetsuit? What do you wear under a rental wetsuit? Is there any difference? If I owned the suit, I would say wear nothing, but... This is what occupied my thoughts that night before.

First thing in the morning, back at the shop, I got schooled in donning a suit of neoprene, cut for the physique of a man. Maybe it would have been easier if I didn't have hips and boobs, but I was assured that it's a pain for everyone of all shapes and sizes. I was fairly worn out by the time I got that thing on.

We ended up at the beach in front of our hotel. I sat on the sand with my instructor while he gave me the safety and etiquette lesson. My husband sat up on the berm with the camera. He didn't purchase the bottle opener flip flops, so no drink to go with the show.

I was so ready to get in the water. The moment I've been waiting for! No more just looking at that ocean water.

The ice water took my breath for an instant. Then a wave smacked me down. Whoa! Pool water just lays there. The ocean is ALIVE. If you are laughing at me right now, that's fine, but it was a pretty big revelation for this Kansas girl.

So, paddling out was fun. I couldn't stay on top of the board. I couldn't balance or find my center. My poor instructor was so kind and patient. Really, I was awful and inept. He helped me catch a wave and the board shot out from under me. And of course, it was tethered to my ankle so I got yanked around a bit, and pounded by the next waves in the set. Blasted. Ragdolled.

Here is where I got a hard lesson on ocean swimming...ready to get pounded.

I needed a little break after that and took a breather on the sand. When I headed back to try again, I was able to handle the waves better, but I never did get steady on the board. I needed help the whole time, dangit. Hanging out in the water away from the shore, trying to spot a good wave was really enjoyable. The waves were only 3-4 feet, but that looks big when you are at the bottom of it!

Let's try this again.

Without warning, my instructor decided that the wave that was upon us was good and he gave me a little shove. Suddenly I was floating, being carried, I can't really describe it. I felt the power of the ocean, but it was smooth.  I didn't want to screw up this cool ride so I just clung tightly to the board and rode all the way to the beach on my belly!

I was beat up, sunburned from the day before, and utterly exhausted one hour into my 90 minute lesson. Catching that fantastic wave was a sign to end my humiliating surf experience on a high note. If only I had known that I was not done being humbled.

I needed help peeling the suit off. Thank GOD I wore something underneath because I was SO done (stick a fork in me) that I wanted it off in the parking lot. My husband was such a good sport! By the way, it's amazing what kind of crap gets down in that suit. Yuck.

I was so glad to get back to our motel room early enough to get a shower before checking out at 11am. We were in a hurry to get on the road for a concert in LA that afternoon, and a graduation ceremony in Azusa that evening. In the room, I started to feel odd. Uggh. I guess I took on a little more sea water than I thought I did. I lost my breakfast and the last shred of dignity at that point.

I must literally be a glutton for punishment, because guess what? I can't wait to go back and try it again.

The Beach Outside my Window

Early this morning I sat next to an open window and let the cool breeze wash over me. I closed my eyes and imagined that the rushing of the school morning traffic was actually a set of waves washing up on a beach outside my window. Just like the beach outside my motel room last week...

Celebrating our 20th anniversary on the beach was a blast! We've never taken a real vacation together, alone. Not even a proper honeymoon.

We are not luxury beach resort people. Not even. This groovy little motel was just the ticket!

Isn't The Beachcomber just as cute as can be? It will always be "ours." 

We spent lots of time walking on the beach. I couldn't keep myself out of the water, but SHOOT it was COLD! 63 degree F water shattered my romantic illusions of playing in the waves. 

The weather was quite cool as well, so we took a drive to Dana Point and hiked up on some cliffs. The trail was fenced off so we couldn't get too close to the edge. Better that way...no accidents!

Nice view of the marina.

The dolphin/whale watching tour was a little to pricey so we headed back toward our home base in San Clemente. I spotted Urban Bicycle Outfitters on the way. How fun! We spent two hours on single speed cruisers exploring the beach trail. We even hit some hills in search of a more remote surfing spot called Trestles.

Famished after going strong all morning and a good part of the afternoon without eating, we sat down for a relaxing Mexican lunch at a beautiful place recommended by Pete at the bike shop. We ate so much we had to take a stroll afterward! That's when I spotted BC Surf shop...oh yeah...

Vacation!

I'm on vacation. Don't hate me, but this is my view.

See you in a few days!

Spa Night!

Tonight was spa night with my girly girl! 

She's nine now and wants to grow up so fast. I'm so glad that I stole a few hours to lock myself in the bathroom with her! 

We put up our hair, slathered on some dead sea mud, and soaked our feet. We cleaned up all those little piggy-nails and I painted hers silver. So pretty! We took our time. Can you believe we blew nearly two hours?

We didn't have time for hair, face, or fingernails, but that's ok. We will have spa night again. Maybe next time will be manicure night? And something else after that. I can totally see this becoming a cherished tradition for me and my girls.

What sort of mommy-daughter traditions do you have?

Happy 5th Birthday Ralph!!

Thank you all for the suggestions. They were VERY helpful!

My cake skills are not what they used to be, but I'm still a mom who likes to try it on my own. The cake had to be simple to build and decorate. I was ill with a migrane yesterday PLUS my husband and older (i.e. helpful) children were away all day. Also, I had a fundraiser dinner for Grand Staff Ministries to attend last night. Ralph LOVES Yo Gabba Gabba, so I built this cake for him today:

I used four 9 inch round cakes, some 7 and 5 inch card board circles and rectangles covered in foil, black licorice, yellow frosting, and black and white fondant. EASY!! Not professional, but good enough to please my five year old son. And that, my friends, is what counts!

As for the big birthday present: Ralph LOVES cars so the plasma car would have been great. And he LOVES to play outside with his brothers and sisters, so the helicopter teeter totter would have been a fun choice. The sand and water table is going to be put on the back burner for another certain little boy who has a birthday in a few months. Much more about him later. I went in a different direction for his present than I thought I would.


Ralph has occasionally slipped out of the house unnoticed. On those rare occasions, I almost always find him trying to get into the van or across the street sitting on the neighbor's riding lawn mower. He's ALL boy! What do boys like to do? They like to DRIVE!!

After receiving a major case of sticker-shock for a new one at the store, I asked my husband to check Cr@igslist for one of these and guess what? I got a smoking hot deal on this gently used, battery operated Jeep!! This is something I said I would NEVER buy for my children. Haha! What do you think?

Oh...and I just drew the winner of the gift card! It's AMY!! Congrats Amy! Hope this comes in handy. Thank you to all my other readers and lurkers. You make Ralphcrew fun!

Sharing Our Joy! A Giveaway!

So if you guessed that this week is exciting because of Ralphie's birthday, give yourself a pat on the back!! His 5th birthday has creeped up on me. I'm suddenly dealing with a bunch of jumbled emotions. My fragile, smooshy little baby is a baby no more. And he's not fragile anymore either!

Ralphie in March 2010

I've always wanted to make a HUGE deal out of each of his birthdays. The first one was spent, guess where? The hospital. His second we had a new baby Ruby. His third we were preparing to adopt. I'm trying to remember number four...brain fog must have set in last year. Life around here is non-stop drama!

Now I'm running into a time crunch. Sunday is the big day and I have NO CLUE what to get for him. (Well, I was sorta looking at those Plasma Cars, what do you think?) I don't even know what kind of cake I can pull together before then, or if I'll end up at W@lmart after church asking them to write his name on a purple and orange monstrosity from the cooler.

So I need your help.

I need present and/or cake ideas for a 5 year old boy. Leave them in a comment here on the blog on this post. Facebook comments don't count this time. :) I need ideas right away (for realz!! help a mommy out!), but I'll leave the comments open until midnight on Saturday. Links are mucho bueno, so helpful.

Sunday I'll set up a spreadsheet with your names and choose a random winner for a $25.00 Amazon gift card! I'll announce the lucky winner here at Ralphcrew. Fun, huh? Thanks for reading what I have to share, even when it's boring. And thank you for letting me share my joy.

Now get crackin'. I need ideas. Fast!!